96 HAWAII PARENT NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2023 The real reason I wanted to bring him up though, is to tell you not to get upset that he didn’t read the book. It’s because he already has a few of his own ideas. He is going to change diapers and give sponge baths his own way, if you let him. He might use your bathroom hand towel instead of the hooded duckie towel, but baby is still going to get dry. That man is going to swing your baby higher than you will approve and let her watch shows that are not on PBS and buy her a wooden sword for ages 10 and up when she is 3. She’s his baby too – and although he might not be as good at being a Mommy as you, he is going to be really good at being a Daddy, and that baby girl needs both. Give them both the gift of cultivating a relationnow! I start this letter with him, because he is half the reason you are where you are. You bought him a couple of very thoughtfully selected Dad-to-be gifts. One of them was a book for expectant fathers. He will never read it. If you still have the receipt, get the cash back and buy another milkshake. The other is a manly diaper bag so when he goes out and about he won’t have to carry the flowery one you liked. This was a great idea – not because he will take particular ownership of that bag or feel more comfortable carrying it, but because you will need a back-up bag for a million different reasons. He will end up carrying the flowered one without complaint – so go ahead and get two of those if you prefer. “I’d like to tell you that I’ve mastered this gig over the last 15 years, but to be honest, I’ve barely scratched the surface.” Find other mom friends who you can share advice with and learn from.
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