98 HAWAII PARENT NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2023 mom too. Learn everything you can from her while she is here, because you’re going to miss her. The beautiful thing is that even after she is gone, you will continue to grow closer to your mom. Motherhood opens your eyes to how deeply she loved you and why she did things the way she did them. She lives on in you and that precious first grandchild you are about to give her. As for the other mothers – make friends with the nice ones. Steer clear of the braggers and competitive ones. Share advice when asked, but don’t be offended when it isn’t taken. Ask advice without shame and take a hard pass on guidance that isn’t right for you. Reserve judgement. Don’t pretend to be perfect. That’s right – I said pretend. I hate to burst your bubble, but you are about to do a very ship apart from you and your rules. Before you know it, your varied approaches are going to mesh into great cooperative parenting. Next I want to bring up other mothers. Let’s start with yours. Sure, it’s your turn to be the mom. You get to decide what things you will do differently, and what traditions you will carry on. Your mom is going to drive you nuts with her chiding of modern parenting practices and insistence that you loosen up and give the baby a pacifier and bottle. But, in six years your mom is going to take her last breath, and you will give anything to have her ranting about how she drank Pepsi when she was pregnant and put you to sleep on your stomach and you “turned out just fine.” You did. She was a great “Ask advice without shame and take a hard pass on guidance that isn’t right for you.” Picking out baby gear can be a confusing task for new and expecting mothers.
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